My Dad Says These Disney Dads Suck

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Credit: Disney

When it comes to fatherhood, Disney characters are all over the map. Let’s be honest, most of the time, they’re either dead or doomed to die shortly into the movie. But if they do survive, they’re really high-maintenance, prideful, or just plain cold. So where are these fathers going wrong?

I asked for thoughts on these Disney dads from a real-life dad – mine! He immediately feared that he was “not up to the task.”

So humble.

Which Disney Dads Really Biffed The Whole Parenting Thing

Kerchak from Tarzan (1999)

kerchak tarzan bad disney dad mad gorilla kala

Credit: Disney

Tarzan’s adoptive jungle father, Kerchak, definitely wouldn’t win any father-of-the-year awards for the way he treated Kala. He was very unhappy with Tarzan’s furless, infant addition to their family group, and says, “I said he could stay. That doesn’t make him my son.” Ouch.

“He was a bad dad,” My dad said. “He was a bad dad because,” He lowered his voice, “Well, first of all, he wasn’t the father, you know…He didn’t even cut [Kala] any slack.” I agreed that Kerchak did indeed have fatherhood thrust upon him, and my dad added, “And he did not handle it well. I KNOW he’s a gorilla, but he still did not handle it well.”

So true, so true.

Geppetto from Pinocchio (1940)

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Credit: Disney

The woodworking father of Pinocchio, Geppetto, may seem like a loving parent, but according to MY dad, Geppetto is a total deadbeat. My dad felt strongly about this one. He called Geppetto a narcissist. I mean, I guess Geppetto did fashion a wood kid and wish on a star instead of adopting one of the many kids undoubtedly already in need. Kinda selfish, honestly…

Here’s my dad’s explanation, “He wanted a kid. ‘I can’t get one on my own because no woman will have me! I’ll make one out of wood! Make him look like me.’” I should note that my father’s Geppetto impression has a weird, inaccurate Southern drawl. Dad continues, “I mean, my god, who spends his time inside a whale, too?”

Chaotic reasoning, but I gotta say, I follow the thread.

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Credit: Disney

Some of his Honorable Mentions for Bad Disney Dads include Bambi’s Dad, King Agnarr (Elsa and Anna’s father), and Cinderella’s dad.

Parenting is hard, especially when Disney films repeatedly use it as a plot device. Do you agree with my dad about Kerchak and Geppetto being pretty lame Disney Dads?

Celebrate Father’s Day by telling us who you think is the worst!

About Lana Porter

Lana has never lost a Disney Trivia night. Maybe it’s the hundreds of times she’s been to Walt Disney World Resort in Florida, her love for Disney’s ’90’s era hand-animated musicals, or the fact that she’s often likened to cartoon characters, but Disney and its magic have a special place in her heart. Her favorite Disney experiences include the EPCOT Food and Wine Festival, eating Mickey Bars on the PeopleMover, and crying during the Magic Kingdom fireworks show. One day she hopes to be chosen as the rebel spy on Star Tours. When Lana isn’t Park Hopping, she’s at home reading books of all topics, watching her favs on Disney+, or snuggling her two cats, which she swears are not named after Disney characters. She loves surprising people with her knowledge of the Marvel Cinematic Universe but admits she is still catching up with Star Wars. She is happy to combine her excitement for writing with her love for Disney-style storytelling and share what she can with the world!