Recently, a in Canada planned a vacation to a with his wife and kids. The only problem is that he intentionally excluded his daughter from the magical . So the ‘s grandmother took to social media to ask for guidance and whether she was right or wrong to feel that the should be included in the family trip.
The Canadian father, Julius, is the of three children. His daughter, Annabella, was born when Julius was only 19, and he is no longer in a relationship with Annabella’s mother, Iza. Iza, who had been living in Canada, was deported, and since that time, Annabella has begun living with her grandmother, and Julius has remarried. He has two sons with his new wife.
And now, the new family was gearing up for a magical trip to Disneyland–everyone except 9-year-old Annabella.
Julius’s interactions with his daughter are extremely limited, by his choice. He arrives at his mother’s house once a month with toys and gifts for the , and then he is gone again. By contrast, according to Annabella’s grandmother, the ‘s mother video chats with the little girl every night, and they spend every July together.
The grandmother explains that she found out about the would love to go to Disneyland, especially at her age. But Julius dismissed her concerns and told his mother that Annabella is “not coming,” and that the trip was just “for his boys.” trip Julius was planning and that he had no intention of including his daughter, and she became extremely upset. When she brought her concerns to her son, explaining that Annabella
The grandmother took to Reddit to air her frustration and get other users’ thoughts about the situation.
“Julius never spends any time with Annabella,” she writes at the beginning of her post. “He doesn’t even call to say goodnight. But she loves him so much. It’s like once a month, he’ll show up with a box full of toys, spend a day with her and then go back to his family. It hurts her so much that he doesn’t spend time with her because he’s her hero. I’m just grandma.”
She goes on to explain that her son’s new wife would love to have Annabella move in with the family; she has even suggested it before.
“She would love to be her stepmom, calls her princess, sweetie and so many nice nicknames. The only reason they haven’t is that Jack said she should stay with me,” she wrote in her post.
The grandmother wanted to know if she was out of line for trying to get her son to include his daughter on the : “I admit that I was a bit controlling in my reaction, but I don’t think I went that far.”
Her post instantly garnered the support of the perfect strangers online with whom she had shared her family’s sad story.
“This man has abandoned his daughter,” wrote one Redditor. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he only brings the toys because his wife makes him. That said, I wouldn’t recommend forcing this trip. His resentment will definitely spill over onto her, and she won’t have that great of a time.”
“Your son is an [expletive], both for how he treats his daughter and how he treats you,” posted another user. “He’s been content to leave Annabella with you; of course he has, since he doesn’t have to own his own actions that way. He can drop off toys monthly and forget about her again.”
Other users went to bat for the grandmother, even telling her that she was taking on responsibilities that were not hers.
“Eva is his responsibility,” wrote one user. “You are kind and loving and generous to care for her as you do, but that care is his responsibility. I’d tell him if he doesn’t step up and do more with Annabella, including Disneyland as a start, I’d be petitioning for .”
Comments about the grandmother seeking were backed by several users. One even suggested the grandmother look into becoming Annabella’s legal guardian: “I think you might need to accept that you are the guardian of this , not your son; if you are not the legal guardian, you need to make that happen.”
After scores of comments she received in response to her post, the grandmother added a comment, saying that she’s considering talking to Julius’s new wife about the Disneyland trip and about working to address the family dynamics that are taking place.
“I know I’ll have to talk to [the wife] about things because maybe she’s the only one who can fix things since I think she may want this as much as Annabella,” she wrote.
Another user expressed concern for Annabella going to , saying if she were finally invited on the trip, the grandmother should join them.
“If she did go to , Grandma should go too,” the Redditor posted. “Otherwise, she will just feel excluded and like a fifth wheel with a family that has no room for her.”
The grandmother recently posted that she has indeed secured legal guardianship of Annabella, but there’s no word on whether the ‘s father has agreed to allow her to join them on their trip.
Here’s hoping the best thing happens for the little girl, and maybe with a little faith, trust, and pixie dust, the grandmother and the young girl could plan their own magical vacation at Disneyland!