How to Have the WORST Day in Animal Kingdom at Walt Disney World
Disney’s Animal Kingdom is an absolute masterpiece—the largest theme park in Walt Disney World and home to thrilling attractions, breathtaking animal exhibits, and unparalleled immersive experiences. But what if you wanted to have the absolute worst day possible? We’re diving into this tongue-in-cheek guide to ensure you have the opposite of a magical day. (Spoiler: Don’t actually follow this advice!)
Skip Rope-Dropping Avatar Flight of Passage
One surefire way to ruin your day is by ignoring the golden rule of Animal Kingdom: rope-drop Avatar Flight of Passage. This stunning attraction in Pandora – The World of Avatar is one of the most popular in all of Walt Disney World. Riding on the back of a banshee and soaring through the visually stunning landscapes of Pandora is a can’t-miss experience… unless you want a terrible day.
Instead, sleep in, arrive late, and try to ride Flight of Passage in the middle of the day when wait times can reach three hours or more. Of course, you’ll miss out on the exhilaration of linking with a Na’vi avatar and the awe-inspiring 3D visuals, but hey, that’s the goal, right?
Wear Heavy Clothing and Skip the Water
Animal Kingdom is known for its lush, tropical environments, and those environments come with one thing: humidity. If you’re looking to sabotage your experience, ignore Florida’s weather altogether. Wear heavy clothing—preferably long sleeves and thick jeans—and refuse to hydrate throughout the day.
Pro tip (for those who want a great day): Animal Kingdom can get very hot. Lightweight clothing, sunscreen, and regular hydration breaks are essential for staying comfortable while exploring this sprawling park.
Leave After Lunch—“It’s a Half-Day Park”
Despite Animal Kingdom’s massive size and its wealth of attractions and entertainment, some guests mistakenly label it a “half-day park.” To ensure your worst day ever, adopt this mindset. Ignore signature experiences like Festival of the Lion King, Finding Nemo: The Big Blue… and Beyond!, and Kilimanjaro Safaris, and head back to your hotel room after lunch.
For a truly dreadful experience, skip evening highlights like the bioluminescent glow of Pandora. Pro tip for a good day: Animal Kingdom is full of hidden gems and nighttime magic. Stick around for unique dining, live entertainment, and nighttime attractions to get the most out of your visit.
Avoid the Walking Trails
Animal Kingdom’s incredible animal exhibits are among its most unique offerings. The Maharajah Jungle Trek and Gorilla Falls Exploration Trail feature up-close views of exotic wildlife, from majestic tigers to playful gorillas. But if your goal is to ruin your day, skip these trails entirely.
Who wants to marvel at beautiful creatures in immersive habitats when you could instead sit in an air-conditioned room, avoiding the magic that makes Animal Kingdom so special?
Pro tip for a great day: The animal trails are a must-do for nature and wildlife enthusiasts.
Pass on Unique Dining Experiences
Animal Kingdom boasts some of the best dining options in all of Walt Disney World, from the upscale flavors of Tiffins to the globally inspired quick-service menu at Satu’li Canteen. To ensure your day goes downhill, ignore these options and opt for bland, generic fare instead.
For example, skip the Tamarind-braised Short Rib or Sustainable Fish at Tiffins and head straight to Restaurantosaurus for a burger and fries. While Restaurantosaurus is fine for a quick bite, it’s no match for the culinary wonders offered elsewhere in the park.
Pro tip for foodies: Make advanced dining reservations for Tiffins or enjoy a leisurely meal at Nomad Lounge for a relaxing and flavorful escape.
Don’t Bother with Lightning Lane
One way to maximize frustration is by ignoring the benefits of the Lightning Lane system. Skip booking expedited entry to popular attractions like Kilimanjaro Safaris, Expedition Everest, and Na’vi River Journey. Instead, stand in standby lines for hours and grumble about the wait times.
Pro tip: For a smooth day: Plan your Lightning Lane selections early using the My Disney Experience app and prioritize high-demand attractions to save time.
Ignore the Live Entertainment
Animal Kingdom is brimming with live entertainment, from street performances to elaborate stage shows. But if you’re determined to have a lackluster experience, avoid all of it. Skip the vibrant drums of Discovery Island and the stunning vocals of Festival of the Lion King. After all, who needs world-class entertainment when you could be sitting on a bench, scrolling on your phone?
Pro tip for entertainment lovers: Plan your day around showtimes to catch as many live performances as possible. These experiences often create some of the most memorable moments of your visit.
Stick to Basic Snacks
Animal Kingdom is home to incredible snack options, but if you’re committed to having a bad day, stick to the basics. Instead of indulging in a Night Blossom drink from Pongu Pongu or delicious churros with caramel sauce, grab a plain Mickey pretzel and call it a day.
Pro tip for snack enthusiasts: Don’t miss out on signature treats like the cheeseburger pods at Satu’li Canteen or the adventurous flavors of ice cream at Anandapur Ice Cream Truck.
Skip Pandora at Night
Pandora – The World of Avatar is a marvel of Disney Imagineering, but it truly comes alive at night with its bioluminescent glow. If you’re aiming for a subpar experience, leave before sunset and miss out on the breathtaking transformation of this land.
Pro tip for evening explorers: Make time to wander through Pandora after dark. The glowing plants, ethereal lighting, and otherworldly atmosphere are unforgettable.
Final Thoughts
Animal Kingdom offers a unique blend of nature, adventure, and Disney magic. While this guide is written in jest, it highlights all the incredible experiences you should not miss during your visit. From thrilling rides and stunning animal exhibits to exceptional dining and live entertainment, this park has something for everyone.
So, instead of aiming for the worst day ever, use these tips to craft the most magical Animal Kingdom adventure possible. Plan wisely, explore thoroughly, and soak up every moment in this breathtaking park.
A very amusing piece of writing, however I thought that animal kingdom closed before night fall,I loved seeing Pandora at night but it’s no longer open when dark ,which is a shame because it was beautiful