It only took three days, a a vote by the to effectively bring down ‘s which encompasses nearly 40 square miles on the outermost areas of Orange and Osceola Counties in the Sunshine State., a vote by the , and
The has voted to pass a that will revoke Disney’s special self-governing status by dissolving its special tax district, as well as any other in Florida that was created before Florida’s Constitution was ratified in 1968. The was signed on Friday by
Now, the humorous satire website, The Babylon Bee, has a list of silly changes that are to be implemented at the Resort as part of the change, in light of the fact that Disney will soon lose its self-governing authority in .
And the changes they humorously predict at The , so even though The Babylon Bee doesn’t give a pretend effective date for the implementations at to dissolve Disney’s calls for the dissolution to be effective next summer , it’s safe to assume the changes won’t take place until after the dissolution of , as that dissolution will also signify the end of Disney’s self-governing privileges in Florida. are quite bold.
Ready to laugh along? According to the satire website, has called for the following changes at the Disney Parks:
Hall of Presidents: Magic Kingdom
The Hall of Presidents will no longer feature the first through forty-fourth Presidents. Nor will it feature the 46th President, Joseph Biden. Rather, the attraction will feature only the 45th President of the United States. In DeSantis’s opinion, the 45th just made for the better animatronic robot, and he’s sure everyone will agree.
Pandora: The World of Avatar: Disney’s Animal Kingdom
As long as the State of Florida is in the business of dissolving entities, Governor Ron DeSantis feels it’s only fair to dissolve Animal Kingdom’s Pandora: The World of Avatar and replace it with an IP that actually means something to someone. No one cares about “Avatar Land” anyway.
World Showcase: EPCOT
EPCOT’s World Showcase will feature only the United States. According to the Babylon Bee, “America is like a highlight reel of all the best countries anyway.” After all, EPCOT is an American park, so only different aspects of America are needed at World Showcase, and there are currently 11 developed spots in which to showcase those different aspects.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Magic Kingdom
The Pirates of the Caribbean will still feature the likeness of Captain Jack Sparrow, portrayed by actor Johnny Depp. (DeSantis isn’t banning Depp like all the other “cancel culture” warriors.) But the use of cosmetics on Depp’s likeness will not be permitted. Also, according to the Babylon Bee, DeSantis has called for Amber Heard to be portrayed in the scenes from the attraction as well.
Other Changes to be Implemented, per Governor DeSantis
In addition to the changes noted above, Governor DeSantis has reportedly called for a few other changes and provisions. The first of these calls for Chip and Dale to reside in separate trees; DeSantis doesn’t want the parks to have the appearance of indoctrination. Second, only the original Star Wars trilogy is to be spoken about; according to the website, Governor DeSantis feels that “the prequel trilogy is too perfect to corrupt with human speech.”
DeSantis has also called for the banning of “weird Disney adults” who come to the parks at Walt Disney World without children. This provision has been met with jeers and cheers, especially as the term “Disney Adults” has been sullied in recent months.
Truly a humorous take in light of recent events.