Surely, you’ve heard the news regarding the wild black bear found at Disney World that was allegedly responsible for shutting down a large portion of Magic Kingdom. Parts of Liberty Square, Frontierland, and Adventureland were all impacted. Much like news regarding other events like the closure of Splash Mountain at Disney World’s most popular park, news has flooded social media feeds, leading to knee-jerk reactions. However, we’re dedicated to bringing our readers accurate and informative stories and information, even if it means telling the story in a way you have yet to hear.
On Monday, September 18, a female black bear was found and removed from Magic Kingdom, with many claiming that the bear was simply looking for food. What you don’t know is that although the bear did hope to eventually make its way over to the spring roll cart at the entrance to Adventureland, she was actually there to attend an impromptu, last-ditch effort to save Splash Mountain at Disney World.
One Last Effort to Save Splash Mountain at Disney World
The bear, along with birds, squirrels, snakes, raccoons, and other wildlife, was actually attending the “Save Splash Mountain One Last Time” protest held by long-time Magic Kingdom resident Br’er Rabbit. Advertised in a secret Facebook group organized by Snow White, who is known to sing and communicate with animals, the group has been planning the stand-in protest since the popular ride’s closure in January.
In one last-ditch effort to show solidarity for the now-extinct log-flume ride that opened at Disney World in 1989, animals had planned to force Disney World to reconsider by creating unsafe areas for guests to enjoy the many attractions within the park. Although not confirmed, some evidence suggests that Magic Kingdom notables like Mr. Toad planned to attend the protest as well. The bear felt like this was the perfect opportunity to have her voice heard.
Splash Mountain Closes, Creating Division Among Disney Fans
The extremely popular log flume ride at Magic Kingdom was once a premiere attraction at the park. Splash Mountain tended to thousands of guests a day, offering an interesting, exciting, and fun way to beat the Florida heat. The ride operated on the premises of old stories that some feel are controversial in nature, highlighting the tales of Br’er Rabbit, Br’er Fox, and Br’er Bear (no relation to the bear in question).
However, as Disney found the attraction too controversial, they decided to retheme the ride to Tiana’s Bayou Adventure, which is scheduled to reopen next year. Many have chosen not to welcome the new Magic Kingdom addition with open arms. Instead, group after group has popped up online with one similar goal – to save Splash Mountain.
Animals Join the Bear Movement to Save the Original Log Flume Ride
Animals have been a big part of the entertainment offered by Disney World for a long time. Bears, in particular, seem to be a focal point used by the company for profit. Very much aware of the exploitation of her species, Margo, a distant cousin of Winnie the Pooh, decided last year to join the online group “That’s Beary Woke of You, Disney.”
Although the black bear felt that this group was a chance to be proactive and physically do something about Disney removing classic animal-based attractions, her entrance to the movement didn’t come without obstacles. Her relationship with Magic Kingdom resident Winnie the Pooh initially created a tense environment. Margo insists that her relationship with Pooh does not create a conflict of interest for her involvement in the pro-animal-based attraction group, as she hasn’t spoken to Pooh since 1999.
“To be frank, grrr, I haven’t spoken to that silly ol’ bear since he evicted our very own Mr. Toad from his home in Magic Kingdom, grrr. We’re on two different sides of the fight. It’s not just about Splash Mountain. It’s about saving Country Bears, the sea creatures in The Little Mermaid ride, and yes, even that weird goat over at Big Thunder Mountain, grrr.“
Margo the Bear Calls Animal Kingdom a Front, Disney World Responds
Margo insisted that her actions on Monday were purely peaceful in nature. Although ultimately unsuccessful in accomplishing their goal of saving Splash Mountain, Margo mentioned that her presence at Magic Kingdom would make Disney rethink only putting bathroom door locks in one park. With her eyes welling with tears, Margo recalls earlier this year when she and the Berenstain Bears broke into the referenced park, where she claims Disney’s exploitation of her mammalian brothers and sisters is at its worst.
“That park is a front for unauthorized animal labor. I hear they’re even kicking the bugs out of that place. Animal Kingdom was an easy job, grrr. They close pretty early, so it clears out. We had heard about all the caged animals and insisted on getting them out in one night. Sadly, our efforts were interrupted when we realized Disney was keeping alien life forms within a part of the park, grrr. There was also this strange scientist who insisted he could get us back in time, which we thought was great, but he went on and on about some ridiculous-looking dinosaur. To be honest, not sad to see him go. Even worse, the plan was to pick the locks with plastic straws, but after ransacking several dining locations, only cruddy paper ones were there, grrr.”
A Bear Protest to Effect Change at Disney World
Margo went on to explain that they left the park in failure that night but quickly figured out that they could effect change in a different way by simply protesting instead of engaging in illegal activity. After a couple of missed calls and being spotted doing recon on Disney World property earlier in the year, the time had finally come to put Operation Bear Necessities into action.
Margo waited to hear the high-pitched squeal from Snow White, and when it came, it was game on. She and several other animals planned to stage up at all three entry points to the pathway leading to Splash Mountain. However, there were initial issues once they entered Magic Kingdom.
They stopped in to check on their friends at Country Bear Jamboree, insisting that although they hoped to participate in the protest, Liver Lips McGrowl had eloquently provided a series of serious points about why participating was not advantageous. Instead, they would act clueless the next day, greeting guests so as not to further damage the public perception of bears while continuing their employment and working on bringing Disney’s corrupt rule to its knees from within.
Things Get Beary Hairy
What Margo and company did not expect was Disney’s awareness of their Facebook group. Quietly, animal controllers at Walt Disney World, in partnership with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission, had been monitoring the “That’s Beary Woke of You, Disney” Facebook group. They were very much aware of the plans to protest early Monday morning. Margo began to get suspicious when she noticed that each trash can within Magic Kingdom had been padlocked. This forced her and her animal friends to rely on making an impromptu trip to Sleepy Hollow for hazelnut spread with fruit on waffles.
Margo admits that after eating, things became a little unfocused. Interestingly enough, all rides seemed to still be operating even though Magic Kingdom was empty. Margo and her friends decided to take advantage and get a couple of rides in before the planned protest. Careful to go the long way around New Fantasyland so as not to tip off Winnie the Pooh, the protestors were able to experience Tron, Haunted Mansion, and of course, Dumbo before all hell broke loose.
Disney World’s Splash Mountain Stood Ominous in the Distance
Although Margo the bear felt guilty for enjoying herself while her old pal Br’er Bear was out of work, that feeling faded away quickly once it was time to get to down to business. As the crew made their way past Pirates of the Caribbean, they felt uneasy, noticing that the construction lights around Splash Mountain were off. Having done plenty of recon on the park, complete with insider information, Margo felt a lump of fear leave her belly and rise into her throat as they approached the forgotten ride- or maybe it was the stale churro she found while snapping selfies in front of Cinderella Castle.
Either way, her concerns were soon realized as upon approach to the ride’s queue area, the construction lights flipped on, causing a scatter of animals in every direction. Margo, like a deer in headlights- along with the deer- stood frozen in absolute terror. There, surrounding them on all sides, were men and women armed with nets, cartoonish-looking bear traps, and bear spray. Right in the middle of the crowd of would-be animal wranglers were Bob Iger, Josh D’Amaro, and Bob Chapek holding what seemed to be a dog leash with a drooling, snarling Pluto on the other end. Without thinking, Margo darted away to the sounds of what she thinks were bear horns.
“It was pure chaos. I could feel that yellow dog that everyone thinks is soooo friendly snapping at my heels as I ran. Most people think bear run on all fours, but for me, I chose to go on two, this allowed to me to use my front paws, grrr. Thank goodness, because Chapek, who was holding a small lantern, had let out a little green fairy that was armed with straight attitude and allergy inducing pixie dust. I just ran and swatted at the fairy until I saw a tree I could climb, grrr.“
A Long Night Gets Even Longer for the Bear Stuck in Disney World
Margo’s fellow protestors had left her to bear the burden of their decision to enter the park illegally. Little did she know Disney World had unleashed its most formidable assets upon her. Not only did they let Pluto and Tinkerbell go to track the wild bear, but they also informed the big cheese himself of what was going on. Although on vacation in Paris according to TMZ photos leaked earlier in the week featuring the mouse and Daisy Duck lounging at their castle in France, Mickey Mouse called the Huntsman, who many forget Disney even owns.
Although the Huntsman has been busy dealing with backlash from Disney’s live-action Snow White remake, he couldn’t say no to Mickey Mouse and showed up in Orlando to track down the bear who hoped her heroic efforts would save Splash Mountain. However, the Huntsman had forgotten his wallet and cell phone. Apparently, he was unaware that Walt Disney World had discontinued their Magical Express service and ended up stuck at MCO. It was up to Florida Fish and Wildlife now.
As day broke, Margo recalled the terror that awaited her as she hid at the top of a climbed tree.
“They had every dog you could think of baying and barking at the foot of that tree. Pluto, Max from The Little Mermaid, Copper, Dug, Tito, Pongo, Lady, and Pete all circled the tree for hours-but not Goofy-cause I don’t think he’s a dog. It was terrible. Everyone else had left me and escaped the park, I was stuck, grrr. As the sun came up, I thought I had my chance to escape when Bob Iger stepped away for an important phone call about selling Disney+. However, I was mistaken as there at the bottom of the tree stood my cousin Winnie begging me to come down, grrr.“
A Terrifying Night Comes to an End with Splash Mountain Still Closed for Good
As the park opened, all Disney-owned characters had to get back to their day jobs. Although Winnie the Pooh called for what seemed like forever for Margo to come down and not be a bother, she remained in the tree. It wasn’t until law enforcement arrived that Margo felt the situation would be handled safely. However, she was wrong.
According to Margo, she felt a sense of peace as the warm Florida sun began to hit her fur, and she could see the gleam off of badges below the tree she was in. She felt that her ordeal was finally ending, and despite her inability to impact the decision-making around Splash Mountain at Disney World, she was going to go home safely. Then, Margo felt a sharp pain in her rear, followed by extreme tiredness. Everything that happened after is a mystery.
Aerial footage provided by WESH 2 News shows the bear being moved after reportedly being sedated against her will.
“I remember thinking, stay awake; there’s porridge at home hot and ready for you. The next thing I knew, I felt the sensation of flying and woke up 100 miles from where I live, thrown into some swamp somewhere in Florida, grrr. I’ve got mouths to feed, and they didn’t even bother to move me close to where I’m from. What I thought was the cold drip of Splash Mountain water hitting my nose was actually just rain from one of those summer monsoons that come in and flood everything. I was wet, lost, drugged, and far from home. Luckily for me, an old friend found me, grrr.“
The unconscious bear was found by Mr. Toad, who assured her that although she was scared, lost, and confused, the media firestorm from her ordeal was sure to impact Disney’s decision on retheming Splash Mountain at Disney World. When contacted to discuss the possibility that Margo’s heroic Magic Kingdom stand would tilt the scales in favor of the “Save Splash Mountain” crowd, Disney World responded, “That’s dumb, that’s a clown question bro. She’s a bear. Her opinion doesn’t matter. Have a magical day; please stay on the line for a short survey.“
Margo isn’t alone in her desire to see Splash Mountain continue at Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World. Although the attraction is well on its way to becoming Tiana’s Bayou Adventure, there are those like her who have been unable to let the past go. It’s understandable as not only does changing the ride put the Br’er family out of work and continue a long line of evicting hard-working animals from their attractions, it made us feel nice inside. Margo will surely go down in Disney-lore as the memes associated with her failed protest attempt have made the “That’s Beary Woke of You, Disney” group the laughing stock of the internet, but Margo isn’t letting it impact her negatively.
“Look I live in Florida, the whole state should’ve been underwater years ago, it’s a liveable swamp. I’m going to be back. Change starts with these paws. Our next goal is to raise awareness for native plant life that was removed from its home to be used at Jungle Cruise. Even if it means facing down Mickey Mouse, I’ll be back. Until I do, Walt Disney will be rolling over in his cryogenically frozen grave, grrr.“
Stay tuned here at Disney Dining, and we’ll keep you up-to-date on any news updates regarding Margo’s future attempts at protests within Disney World.
Obviously, this is a satirical article meant to be a fun read. We have nothing but love and appreciation for Disney World, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, the bear, and all wildlife. The actual bear in question was safely removed and relocated to the Ocala National Forest.